Because I Don’t Lose
August 1, 2008
don’t push your luck. don’t mistake my concern as something more than. rather than think i was trying to preserve your life, you say i’m taying to “tell you what to do”.
okay then.
GO TO FUCKING HELL AND BURN MOTHERFUCKER.
because i don’t care. i don’t give half a fuck anymore, because you not only ignored my good intentions, but went ahead to piss me off.
i have to wonder dear, which part of “don’t fuck with me.”, do you not understand?
Ingrained, Ignored
July 28, 2008
because if it was easy to be right, everyone would be doing it.
because if words just are, then the sky could be blue here, and green in africa.
because if love is fleeting, no one would get married.
because if music has no soul, we wouldn’t depend on it.
because if god doesn’t exist, we’d all be desolate.
because if friendships aren’t meant to last, then why bother.
because if you say so, then i’m the fucking dog.
***
this is IT asswipe, i’ve had it up to fucking here, so don’t blame me for ranting now. i put up with your bullshit for 8 months. 8 FUCKING MONTHS. so don’t say how i was never this and that and how i didn’t care about you and everything, and how i never loved you because i DID. you spoilt it all for yourself, so don’t you fucking DARE put this on me.
it’s not my fault.
i didn’t fucking cheat on you. you did. i never blew you off for my friends, you did. i didn’t lie or act all suspicious, you did. and now you’ve broken up with me, you’re not allowing me to move on? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
throughout the duration of the time i devoted to you, you never did answer my question. what do you want? at the end of all your mindfucking, what the hell do you want out of it? from me? i really cant figure this out. probably never will.
i’m SICK of your mind games, and now that i’m done with them, all i want is a clean break. since you’ve already made it clear you had no intention of getting back together with me, PLEASE STOP TORTURING ME LIKE THAT.
kisses on my forehead,
pb and cowie,
escape theme park.
please stop. all of it. last warning.
***
on the same depressing note, today marks the worst fucking week of my life. let’s see.
1. love of my life broke up with me.
2. i get blamed for it.
3. party turned out to be a devastating flop.
4. cried too much.
5. screamed too much.
6. drank too much.
7. fell down and got a huge piece of my skin scraped off like cheese on a grater.
8. got teh peng spilled on me.
9. and my alost-favourite dress, and shoes.
10. and phone.
11. my phone doesn’t work properly anymore.
12. it’s actually rusting.
13. lost my memory card.
THIRTEEN. OH MY GOD.
like $*@!@#$%^&)(&%T^##@%#%$&%^&^&# please.
ignore me.
Now I Know
July 25, 2008
why she wrote all those things on her blog. it’s not defamation, it’s expressing her frustration, her anger, her resentment for your attitude. it wasn’t anything personal, till you attacked her this way was it?
i’ll refrain, for now. but boy you’re really pushing your fucking limits. don’t test me, because i’m vicious when i want to be, and i’m nearing my peak of patience.
this isn’t a threat, it’s a promise. try me.
If You Don’t Like It
July 17, 2008
THEN DON’T READ MY MOTHERFUCKING RANTS. for fuck’s sake.
Maybe It Only Hurts Because
July 14, 2008
i’m safe now, at least. safe from everything that’s been bothering me lately. everything that’s been tearing me apart.
i thought last night, just leaving wouldn’t be so hard. yeah right. wouldn’t be so hard to leave my family. my mom who bore me in her womb for 40 weeks, my father who’s given me almost every material thing a child could ask for, my sisters that i’m fiercely protective of? i’m sure it won’t be hard. it won’t at all.
i fell asleep, still drunk with my insane thoughts. i woke up, thinking it was time to go to school. i woke up and glanced the luminous hands on my alarm clock. nope. it’s only 2:20 a.m.
how much, really, could it hurt? for once, i just want something for me. stop being someone else’s puppet, living someone else’s life. isn’t this ideal? being myself? cos if i remember right, it’s what we’ve been told we should be. the only thing we should be.
so here i am.
made the choice to do the cowardly thing. made the choice to run away.
to all the people i’ve disappointed, i really am sorry. i had to. i have to. at least you don’t have to worry. you know i’m safe and alright because i have internet connection.
maybe it only hurts because i know it’s already too late.
edit:
to bestie, jean, jolyn, bianca, and of course, baby, i’m so, so sorry.
Pins That Prick On Purpose
July 11, 2008
the pakspectator is basically a newspaper in a blog, which is cool as hell. AND GUESS WHO THEY DECIDED TO INTERVIEW!
this is AWESOME, and it’s the most EXCITING thing that’s ever happened in my entire life. :]
read it. READ IT.
DUDES YOU HAVE TO.
omfg this is so cool.
Sheri, Your Friends Annoy Me
July 1, 2008
quite honestly, you dont need me telling you how your friends are treating you, and how you should be treated. obviously i can’t meet any of your circus pals in person, not for awhile anyways. but i do have a thing or two to say to them, and this is my chosen form of communication. however you may feel about me blogging as such, i shall do so out of sisterly love and concern for you, my younger sibling. you do realize, i hope that there’s only so much a person of blood relation to you can watch you go through before she intervenes. this is the point of no return, i suppose, so excuse my while i rant.
#1: ryan loh whatever whatever
will you please get over yourself. HEROISM? saving someone’s world? i’m sure you’ve destroyed enough around you. oh so NOW you realize you’re being destructive? let me tell you kiddo, saving “one world”, isn’t going to cut it. it’s not going to make up for the amount of hurt you put theon through, or the kind of trouble my sister had to get over because of you and your fucking sick needs for warped entertainment. you’re being a dick and you know it. you’re right and i concur completely when you called yourself a fag on your blog because despite you know how your words and actions affect those around you so negatively, you do it. maybe even on fucking purpose. to see how bad their reactions are.
you should have been kathleen megan folbigg’s son.
#2: faye
i haven’t ever heard anything bad about you, or read anything that gave me the impression that you were a nasty little bitch. so i’m just going to give you some advice. please DUMP that miserable loser, and find someone you can have a future with. ryan loh whatever whatever may be a debator, but he has neither the charisma, the character, or the focus to get him anywhere in life. out of al of sheri’s friends, i think you’re the kid who needs to do nothing more than grow the fuck up and see that women are worth more than ryan loh’s infamous “antiseptic lotion” by default. of course, if you wanna continue on the road to heartache, be my guest. esentially, it’s none of my fucking business whatsoever. :]
#3: theon
you seem like a really nice guy. which is why i do not fucking understand why you are friends with the fucker who back-stabbed you for fun. like what i said above to faye, dude, just walk out. the entire sunny island we’re on is densely populated and teaming with people more deserving as friends, or in faye’s case, a “hubby”. yes yes, none of my business, none of my business. nonetheless, a word to the wise.
#4: yeung wan
i should have firecrackers and whatnot for this one. why? because she is a LITTLE CONNIVING BITCH AND A CUNT-FACED, PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. why? i don’t get it. why do you feel that imminent need to impress other people, or try winning pity votes from them. does that make you feel good? you victimizing yourself and taking advantage of people’s sympathy to turn them against your own enemy? if you think that what you’re doing is smart (i won’t even bother trying to approach the topic of morals here, because clearly, this girl has no inkling of what the word means.), please, continue doing what you are, and we, being all the people i’ve told about the psychopath that’s after my sister’s blood, and myself, will wait and see where this fucked up attitude will bring you ten years down the road.
DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO BE THE DEVIL’S FUCKING WHORE,
BEING CHAINED TO HIS INCESSANT DEMANDS THAT ARE NEVER FUFILLED JUST THE RIGHT WAY?
I’VE WONDERED FOR A LONG TIME, SO ANSWER ME THIS,
EXACTLY HOW DOES IT FEEL TO PLOT ANOTHER PERSON’S PERFECT DOWNFALL?
you know, you’re actually lucky i’m not the one you were picking on. if it wasn’t sheri, but me instead, you wouldn’t fucking DARE.
you may wonder, why do i have such a strong vendetta against this young girl in particular? oh, apart from the fact that her head needs to be deflated more than just a little? setting aside that i think she’s one of the biggest poseurs i’ve ever come across? not taking into consideration that she’s a rude, obnoxious, childish little brat? i’ll tell you. it’s because she said that if she died, all her panties and bras would go to sheri, because she was mad at sheri then. (which is fucking spastic because what happened that day wasn’t sheri’s fault in the first place.) not only that, she ventured even further, saying that sheri should consider her self LUCKY to get anything at all.
if i were sheri, i’d take it smiling, then choke you with your own motherfucking undergarments. in fact, hy wait till you’re nearing death, i could cab over now, in the middle of the night and camp near your place till you leave for school in the morning, then drag you off to somewhere no one will be able to find you. people with your personality wouldn’t get fucked if i paid a gigolo to rape you, so that must be some statement. i’d induce slow torture, maybe keep you for a month or two, make you wish you were never born. (which during the time was already a mistake), make you pay own your way out (seeing that your parents have already given you so much more than what you rightfully deserve.), then use the cash to send sheri to a therapist, or something.
you disgust me beyond words. of course, you’d refute everything i’ve said, so basically, everything i say will come to naught, either because sheri won’t ask you to read this, or because you can’t accept the fact that the fucking planets don’t revolve around you.
***
i hope you learn the concept of reality soon kids, all of you. it’s gonna eat you alive.
